我從小在佛教的宗教成長;但是只慶祝重大節日像中國的春節，八月中秋節，四月清明節。我的父母試圖以洋化的教育我和我的兄弟姐妹，我是第二代美國華裔，但我們也慶祝聖誕節。這讓我帶來了許多質疑這聖誕節又是什麼，它又代表著什麼宗教意義存在?好似我的信仰宗教裡好似缺了點什麼，但我無法理解，所以我想了解更多體悟更深，所以一直在追尋是否其他宗教像天主教真的會填補我的佛教信仰裡的缺師，但是卻存著一種無法理解的空白境。
經過這些年來，我問我的天主教和猶太教的朋友，如果我能一起跟著他們到教會裡去聽道去探索他們信仰的宗教。雖然我學到了很多，但我還是沒有感覺我屬於這些宗教。我甚至通過我的伊斯蘭朋友去餐與的穆斯林宗教的崇拜，但是卻與這個宗教卻留給我與宗教追尋產生更大的隔閡空間。
隨著我的成長我還是盡職盡責地和我的家人慶祝佛教節日。我自己也嘗試過許多不同的佛教寺廟。所有廟宇，當我走進去總讓我感到很失望。我看到在裡面的口舌是非與內部運作不當與權力鬥爭，在這些佛教寺廟裡，我看到了人性的醜陋，這些讓我無法返回那些佛教宮廟去。我甚至親身見過達賴喇嘛，我本來認為，也許他的開示可以填補我精神上的空虛給我感悟，但是見面以後我卻感覺到很洩氣。
我姑姑當時也在修行與他探索過比我更多不同的宗教，有一天她請我去她家，因為她家內安了金母的道場，我說我一定要看看這金母是誰。見到金母以後，我覺得我的求道的路有比較充實但是我覺得想填滿我的身心靈還仍未達到。但是我的道友亨利(張師兄)帶我到金闕宮。我知道亨利是我生命中的一位很重要的道上朋友。隨著他的幫助，我來到他告訴我的真正天宮他說那裏有真正的天上父親，我找到可以救贖我的宗教，金闕宮解開我多年來的追尋，我想解開宗教疑點和填滿我的心靈空虛境，當我第一次入金闕宮，聽到Penny傳音祖師告訴我的話，我忽然淚流不止無法自已，因為太真實又太感動了，祖師告訴我，我一直在找我想要的真道，我想在道上尋求靈性的成長卻一直找不到，我不曾在任何一個宗教道場感動到哭泣不停，我的先生在當下也非常訝異，他知道我很少哭甚至不哭。
金闕宮在許多方面真的幫助我和我的家人。我的家人一直備受外靈的困擾就猶如黑死病一般，尤其是我的丈夫，他是家內受害最嚴重的一位，不但身體狀況差和情緒起伏也很大，但是祖師幫他漸漸解決了這些問題，現在有我的家庭卻是轉和諧安順。
至於已經困擾我多年的空窗期也好似在這一年中漸漸解決，我多年來一直質疑的問題，在金闕宮裡我找到答案，我可以感覺到那種包圍著我的溫馨感，心中感覺非常平靜;雖然我到外面有時候會有發生類似暈霄飛車般的情緒性問題。我覺得至少我心中感到的安寧，自己也踏實多了。未來到金闕宮之前我確實有憂鬱症，我發現來到金闕宮以後，經過與我的先生一起按時補庫與化解以後，我漸漸沒有那種憂鬱症的困擾，我在用祖師教導我們的方式先慢慢改變，最近經過燒化以後我有更好的感受，我沒有那麼疲勞與沉重的壓力，至少那種憂抑鬱症不再纏著我。我每一次來到金闕宮就越感到平靜與和諧。我還需要從金闕祖師那裏學很多東西，我只能慢慢花更多的時間來學習，我發現內心的安寧和平靜是很重要，外面的世界不論如何波濤洶湧但對我來說至少我淡定多了，對此能得到前所未有的靜謐的內心境界與家內的安祥境，對此我很感激金闕祖師的幫忙。
I was always brought up Buddhist; celebrating only the major holidays like Chinese New Year, August moon festival, and the day of the dead in April. My parents attempt at Americanizing me and my siblings we also celebrated Christmas. Which brought to question what it is and what it represents. Something was missing in my religion that I could not comprehend so I tried to learn more about it and see if other religions like Catholicism will fill that unattainable void that my Buddhist religion was leaving me.
Through the years I asked my Catholic and Jewish friends if I could tag along with to them to their services. I learned a lot but I still did not feel if I belonged. I even experienced the Muslim religion through a friend and that religion left an even bigger void in my sense of belonging.
As I grew older I still dutifully celebrated the Buddhist holidays with my family and on my own I tried different Buddhist temples. All the temples I went into left me feeling disappointed. I saw an ugliness in the people running them that made me not return. The gossiping habit and power game bothered me so much that I did not want to be involved. I have even met the Dalai Lama. I thought that event would fill that spiritual void I was missing but I left feeling very deflated.
My aunt who practiced Buddhism more religious than I at the time asked me to come to her house because she holding a meeting for the Golden mother and I said sure to see who she was. After meeting her I felt I was on better path but I felt my spiritual destination was still not reached. That event did lead me to meet a man name Henry. I knew Henry would be a big part of my life. With the help of him and I know now The Heavenly Father it had lead me to the Chin Chueh Palace. Here I found my true salvation. When Penny told me about what happen inside of me for the first time, Through her, Zu Shi really spoke how I felt for many years searching for my soul. I was so touched by the words Zu Shi said to me and I could not stop crying. My husband was surprised. He knew that I seldom cry or I should say he has never seen me cry.
The Chin Chueh palace has helped me and my family in so many ways. My family has always been plagued with spirits, but my husband was most affected physical and emotionally the Chin Chueh Masters helped resolved this issue and now there is more peace in my family.
As for me that void that has been plaguing me for years has resolved as well. When I am at the Chin Chueh Palace I feel a sense of calmness that surrounds me; all the roller coaster of emotions that I have are still. I feel at peace within myself. I was battling depression just prior to finding Chin Chueh palace and after one visit to there I burn treasure chest and joss money regularly with my husband. I was on my way to feeling better and now today I do not have the weighted pressure of fatigue that depression gives you. I feel calm and at peace for once. I still have many things to learn from the Chin Chueh Masters and every time I go I learn more about myself and I get to find that inner peace and calmness that outside world is void of, for that I am grateful.
